Apr 23, 2013

and.... BREAK!

 I got a much needed mani/pedi this afternoon.... LOVE the new colors! :) #veryrelaxing #neededthat

 And now the disappointing news. IUI #3 did not work. I'm not pregnant, again. Bummer, I know. Myself, along with many others, really thought this was it. It's so difficult to NOT think it's not it. 
I found this quote somewhere on Instagram. It is so very important to me that I try my very best to keep this type of attitude. A thankful attitude. Am I going to be sad? Yes. 
Am I going to be disappointed? Most definitely. 
Am I going to cry? Oh yes. 
Is God still God? YES!
Is He still in control? YES!
Does He only want the best for me? YES! 
That is what I'm going to focus on. 

If God has said, "No" to you, THANK HIM! He wants nothing but the BEST for his kids! 

What's next, you ask... 

Like I said before, Dru and I are definitely taking a break this cycle, maybe even two cycles. We have an appt with our RE for Monday, April 29th. We can either go ahead with the appt or wait until about 2 weeks before we want to start meds/procedures again. I think we will probably go ahead and meet this Monday to get a plan for the next time we dive in. 
My RE called today and because of my progesterone levels, he wants to double my dosage of clomid next time from 50mg to 100mg. That means I would be taking two a day. I am thinking that we will figure out how much insurance will cover with the injectables and then go from there. My nurse said that without insurance they are around $1,500. Needless to say, if insurance doesn't cover them, we will need to save up for them. 

We are taking this break for many reasons. 
I love a list, so here it goes. 

1. My body needs some time to get back to normal. 
2. I need to lose weight; it's gotten out of control. 
3. I am emotionally drained. 
4. I need to refocus my heart and my attention on Jesus.
5. May is going to be cray-cray {in a good way!} We've got tons of stuff going on! 

I will most likely be stepping away from social media amongst other things to get refocused, but I'll be figuring that out over the next few days. I need to spend some time with Jesus and just be near Him. I need Him. period. 

Thanks for reading this really long post. You people rock. 



  1. Lots of prayers for you sweet friend!

  2. I'm so sorry Kailey! I know exactly what this feels like… I did my 3 IUI's all in a row; after they all failed to even result in a BFP we were left with "what next?". The answer to that left us stuck waiting and it's tough place to be. I'm praying that your appointment will shine some light on the best course of action from here and that you will feel supported and cared for going forward! Asking that our Father will comfort you in the days ahead!

    1. Doesn't it stink? I hate the feeling of disappointment, especially a failed cycle. BOOO!!! Thank you so much for your love and prayers :)

  3. I'm with you and Amanda - we just did 3 IUI's in a row: all failed. We knew that if the last one didn't succeed, that a break was much needed. We're currently on that break now and looking for a new RE.

    I must say, you're doing so well! My heartbreak didn't really hit me until midway through this cycle. Your positive attitude has inspired me to pray more (something I faltered on after this 3rd failure). Thank you for your determination and strength. I pray that God will carry you through this break and finally give you a "yes!"

    And it might be worth asking your RE if they ever receive donated meds. We asked our (now former) RE and he said we could get some injectable meds that were donated from cyclers who no longer needed them. Not all doctors do this, but it might be worth asking. :)

    1. Honestly, I think I might chance REs too. I'm going to take this time to think and pray about it, but I'm just not really feeling it. Thank you so much for your prayers and I'll definitely be asking for donated meds.

  4. You are so strong, and I have all the faith in the world that things will work out for you guys. I truly believe that stepping back and taking breaks now and then can be so helpful. You continue to be in my thoughts, sending prayers and warm wishes your way!!


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