and.... BREAK!

 I got a much needed mani/pedi this afternoon.... LOVE the new colors! :) #veryrelaxing #neededthat

 And now the disappointing news. IUI #3 did not work. I'm not pregnant, again. Bummer, I know. Myself, along with many others, really thought this was it. It's so difficult to NOT think it's not it. 

I found this quote somewhere on Instagram. It is so very important to me that I try my very best to keep this type of attitude. A thankful attitude. Am I going to be sad? Yes. 

Am I going to be disappointed? Most definitely. 

Am I going to cry? Oh yes. 

BUT!

Is God still God? YES!

Is He still in control? YES!

Does He only want the best for me? YES! 

That is what I'm going to focus on. 

If God has said, "No" to you, THANK HIM! He wants nothing but the BEST for his kids! 

What's next, you ask... 

Like I said before, Dru and I are definitely taking a break this cycle, maybe even two cycles. We have an appt with our RE for Monday, April 29th. We can either go ahead with the appt or wait until about 2 weeks before we want to start meds/procedures again. I think we will probably go ahead and meet this Monday to get a plan for the next time we dive in. 

My RE called today and because of my progesterone levels, he wants to double my dosage of clomid next time from 50mg to 100mg. That means I would be taking two a day. I am thinking that we will figure out how much insurance will cover with the injectables and then go from there. My nurse said that without insurance they are around $1,500. Needless to say, if insurance doesn't cover them, we will need to save up for them. 

We are taking this break for many reasons. 

I love a list, so here it goes. 

1. My body needs some time to get back to normal. 

2. I need to lose weight; it's gotten out of control. 

3. I am emotionally drained. 

4. I need to refocus my heart and my attention on Jesus.

5. May is going to be cray-cray {in a good way!} We've got tons of stuff going on! 

I will most likely be stepping away from social media amongst other things to get refocused, but I'll be figuring that out over the next few days. I need to spend some time with Jesus and just be near Him. I need Him. period. 

Thanks for reading this really long post. You people rock. 

KB

Whomp Whomp

Well, there's not a baby in my belly this cycle. I'm in a lot of pain physically and emotionally. I start clomid for the third and final time tomorrow. I'll update after spring break. I'm taking a break from blogging for a little bit. 

Thanks in advance for all the prayers for us. We appreciate it so much. 

KB

IUI #1

Well, IUI #1 is a bust. George definitely is at the beginning stage of ruining the next week of my life. I knew it was smart of me to not test, I couldn't bare to see the negative results again. I was definitely hopeful, but just had a feeling that it wasn't going to work. I honestly don't know why it's so difficult for me to believe it is actually going to happen one day. 

I was reassured by a sweet friend of mine, that it just might take a couple of times to finally stick. I will say, that I'm looking forward to what my RE says we will do for this next cycle. 

BRING IT ON! 

In the meantime, I will distract myself with changing my reading groups up and looking over data. Oh, the life of a teacher, always something to do. 

P.S. Would appreciate as many prayers as possible. My period has been oh so painful since November. I have to take meds during it to make it bearable. I need peace and I need to know that the Lord hears me. I know He does, good gracious, but sometimes, I just kinda feel like I've prayed the same stuff over and over again for 3 years. 

Much love to you awesome people who keep up with my crazy self on this crazy blog. 

KB